Most of us old enough
to have parents born about the time of the Great Depression remember the odd
words spoken by our parents or grandparents when worried about finance.
"We are going to the poor house." These words inspired us to remember
the plight of poor Oliver Twist asking for more porridge.
Then there were Sunday drives in the country when your
Grandmother would point to some large gaudy Victorian home on an old farm and
tell you that it was "the county rest home' when she was growing up. You
might ponder how much 'rest' people got on a farm. You could envision old women
with walkers out sowing the fields.
What all the buzz was about was the fear and knowledge your parents and grandparents had of the local Victorian cure for all social ills within its county borders ;known as the county poor house or county home.
Our Victorian ancestors sure of the truth of the
protestant work ethic saw poverty as a result of a lack of moral virtue of
"industry". This combined with the fact ,families were increasingly
moving to cities and other places that offered better economic
opportunities,.The had to leave their elderly and many times feeble minded
relatives behind. Many counties did not have institutions for the severely
disabled, elderly, and mentally ill.
These folks left by their relatives to fend for themselves. They became wards of the county. They with orphans, unwed mothers, and the sick and aged, were placed in poorhouses and poor farms out of a desire for the county to perform acts of "Christian charity". The local politician benefited from this arrangement, as the poor farm removed the "undesirables", from the sight of the general public.
These "farms" or 'homes' required all able-bodied people to work and contribute to the operation of the facility. Life was never pleasant at the poor house as the goal was to get those who could to leave and find employment. Residents were worked long hours and physically abused at the whims of their overseers. Many families down on their luck; only stayed in these places a short time till they made enough money to move on.
Monroe Co. Poor House, by Woodward, C. W. (Charles Warren) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The elderly, feeble-minded, disabled and orphaned were not so lucky. Till the later 1800's and the opening of state sponsored schools and orphan asylums these folks could only hope some local relative or generous local family could remove them from the harsh conditions of the county poor house. The rise of specialized care and schooling brought an end to the poor house days, but it is an interesting part of America's social history.
Indiana like most states had a 'poor house 'or farm in almost every county. Some were over crowded and some were only used by the most destitute county residents. Those wilh small populations tended to provide a better environment for the residents. In the mind of the civic minded Victorian conditions at a 'poor "house were seen as bearable because life on a farm or small town was difficult anyway. The inmates could be seen as lucky to have access to food and shelter at the expense of the taxpayer. The tax paying residents of the county would have only been confused by issues of the quality of life or dignity of the inmates.
In 1871 a local newspaper did an article on the residence
and conditions on its "infirmary" or poor farm. The Hunting County
Infirmary had 18 residents at the time .The writer of the article ,in a truly
Victorian judgmental and patronizing manner published all the 'less than
pretty' circumstances of the inmates need to be at the poor house. The writer
showed some respect for the young children he deemed as deserving of adoption,
but he was particularly unkind to women he viewed as silly or loose.
The genealogists who reprinted the article for its research value wrote," What is amazing about this article is the degree to which very personal details of the inmates lives are recounted in such a public manner! We at first felt somewhat reluctant to even post this on the internet 130 years later." This article is a must read for anyone who is interested in the personal knowledge of who the poor farms of this era served. This article can be found in its complete form:http://www.poorhousestory.com/IN_Huntington_newsarticle1871.htm
The history of poor farms in American society is not
interpreted as our ancestor's lack of social conscious, but rather folks who
had limited knowledge of the reasons that individuals and families would become
chronically destitute. It was actually a testament to the Victorians growing
social awareness; that they sought to aid the unfortunate in any organized way
at all.
Public Domain
The domestic situation of most Victorian families offered an endless network of caregivers. Victorian households had six children, but most had a variety of other family and others that lived in their dwelling. The nuclear family that defined the last century was a rare family in Victorian times.
Yet, the extended family traditionally thought of by us as a Victorian norm only made up about 10 percent of Victorian households. A traditional extended family is one in which three or more generations lived in the same house. An average Victorian household would consist of the husband, wife, unmarried cousins, farm laborers, maybe one aged parent or aunt, and servants if it was a household of some economic means.
The makeup of the Victorian home was in constant flux. Older children married, left to find work, or died. In some areas of industrial homes life expectancy was only in the mid twenties and at the turn of the century not much more than 50 for most middle class people. Infants and children had more than a %50 percent chance of dying before the age of 5 in many communities. It was not uncommon for a healthy child to have lost one or both parents and a sibling before they reached their teens.
This is not to mention the changes in household help that occurred frequently as younger folks who worked in these homes married or went on to better jobs. Working class children and farm children often found themselves being farmed out to other relatives or moved to communities to find work and contribute to the family coffers in their early teens.
A family that found itself in a growing industrial community would be asked to take on other family members children in hopes they would find employment in exchange for limited economic contribution. Sickly children might have been moved to relatives that lived in the county hoping the air was better for them, but returned to the city if they could not pull their weight on a friend or family's farm. It was about the survival of the family unit and those individual close to the unit that determined the fate of many Victorian children.School was not mandatory for children in England till 1840 and much later in most parts of the United States.
The working poor who had ambitions for their children went as far as to ask charitable organizations to arrange night schools in order that children working in sweat shops might have a chance to attend school. In rural communities in the United States farm families pooled their money to hire a school Master or Marm. Most children in rural areas because of weather conditions and the planting season only attended school for three to five months a year. A growing middle class after the American Civil war increased the demand for public High School.
A girl in the rural Midwest was more likely to attend high school as her brother would have been needed to work the farm or family business than she was. In an upper middle class family, a smart girl was unlikely to get a University education than her brother was because it was considered a waste of time to educate women whose only future prospects were marriage. In late Victorian times it became acceptable for middle class girls to pursue a degree in teaching so they could have a trade before marriage. Women from the poorest urban areas many of them immigrants had always worked and never had a chance at any formal education. Women teachers especially, were underpaid and undervalued by most communities.
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Discipline for children in all social levels was strict. The sexually repressed Victorians went to great extent to punish and discourage all sexual expression in children. The very lowest classes did not have this luxury and were noted to sell young girls that family could not afford to feed into what was essentially domestic prostitution. Corporal punishment was considered appropriate even for infants in some Victorian households. Wealthier families did indulge their children in lessons, games, and parties, but many of these activities were meant to help the child learn the social mores of the day and not just "play"
In the 1830's it was not uncommon for children in urban settings to succumb to cholera because of a lack of understanding in the community about the need for clean water. Most cities had amazingly unsanitary conditions that made the whole community at risk for the spread of disease. Respiratory ailments were the norm in these communities where the industrial revolution had caused so much pollution. Many times these chronic respiratory ailments cover up epidemics of whopping cough and tuberculosis.
It was not uncommon for children who avoided these ailments to still literarily grow up with "blackened lungs" and have a short life span. Mortality rates for infants, children, and women were high because of all communicable diseases in urban areas where they went unchecked. Most women in children in poorer communities were malnourished and this contributed to low disease survival rates.
Diets tended to consist of bread, cheese, beer, and occasionally meat. There were not fresh fruits and vegetables widely available to the poor and in certain climates not even the middle class. The men as head of household got the best and largest portions of any food that was served for they were literally the most important "breadwinner".
This lead too many women and children; being deprived of necessary nutrition to have the strength to fight off common diseases Life on the farm the last century had in many ways been healthier for many people. Women breastfeed until most children were two, but their milk was only as good as their diet. Wealthier women could afford wet nurses, but many times these women were less healthy than the mothers of their charges and the infant mortality rate was high. Few children who were fed cow's milk, weak tea, and sugar if their mothers could not breast feed made it through infancy.
Victorian childhood prepared most children for a life of hardship and economic uncertainty. A growing middle class assured that a least a growing number of children would have an education and life of not just day to day survival. The lack of serious medical advances for ordinary people made the prospect of death something that the average person faced every day.
It was common for middle classVictorian men to be displayed in the black suits which they wore for Church or special occasions. It would not be uncommon for a deceased middle class housewife to be displayed in the morning clothes of widows weed and crepe that she wore in life to mourn the passing of her relations. Younger women tended to be displayed in white. It was acceptable to bury children in the best clothes they had and with flowers in their hands.
Victorian church women many times urged the wealthier to donate funeral coats to poor families burying children as not to deprive a living child of a needed coat. It seems strange to us a new coat would be given to a living child while a living child was given the coat of a dead child. This did not seem strange to a poor Victorian mother, because she expected to lose at least one child and it was expected she honor the dead child or be accused of being heartless. Many poor families saved for the funeral expenses of their children, at the expense of the quality of life all the household.
Very poor grieving women who had lost a child or provider had to suffer the additional indignity of begging among her neighbors, relatives, and church for the funds to provide a modest funeral for her loved one. Certainly, even the poorest head on household was seen as a poor father and husband if he had not prepared for death that would inevitably visit his household. Trade organizations, ethnic groups, and discreet church funds saved many a poor or working class family from the public humiliation of having to beg for funds to take care of their dead (Hellish, 2010).
Wakes were held in Victorian homes in order to make sure that the deceased was truly dead and would not 'wake' from coma. A relative was posted at the side of the casket. Wakes as social events could last up to four days and the family was relieved of doing the chores of daily life and the preparation of food by friends and neighbors. All blood relations and those related by marriage were expected to show their respect by wearing various degrees of mourning garb.
In general the more closely related a person was who had passed the greater degree of public mourning was expected. Women were in general expected to mourn longer and go to greater means to dress the part. Generally, Aunts, uncles and cousins were expected to wear a degree of mourning garb publically for at least. Relations in other towns that could not attend the funeral were also expected to make a public display of mourning (Levins, 2005)
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Funeral Photography: The girl is deceased in this photo
A widower was expected to remove himself from public life for a matter on months and in general could get away with wearing mourning armbands. The garb of the middle class husband was normally black anyway and his need to conduct business made his seclusion was public life impractical (Hellish, 2010).
Men were expected to mourn the passing of their wives for at least a year. If the need to have a household kept or presence of small children made his quick remarriage a necessity, the new wife was expected to show deep mourning for the deceased wife for the first at least a year. The reentrance of the family as a whole into social circles was kept for nearly two years an an elaborate system of leaving calling cards was instituted to make sure the surviving household members did not appear frivolous (Hellish, 2010.
Things like attending the theater, parties other than weddings and baptism, and gardening clubs were off limits to all adult household members for a year. Older widows and widower may have been excused from social niceties till the time of their death. Many older women simply never shed the last of the mourning garb, but it is unlikely any kept 'full 'morning garb. Many doctors urged melodramatic Victorian widows to put aside long periods of morning garb where they wore crepe or long veils as it was believed it caused respiratory and vision problems. Very wealthy families decked out their servants in mourning wear they were expected to wear as long as the family 'socially' mourning (Rothman, 2005)
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There were various practices for mourning periods for children. Mothers were expected to show public displays of mourning for the loss of a child for at least a year. Fathers tended to observe the mourning period according to religious or community practice. Even middle class families were hard pressed to come up expensive clothing and mourning adornments for the loss of a child. It was very common for household to lose many children and to have births in households, that Widow's weeds, veils of crepe, and other elaborate accessories were not practical. Many a resourceful housewife would simply dye the family's wardrobe in black; unfortunately, this black dye often came off on the skin of the mourner (Levins, 2005)
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Experts in child rearing at the time urged middle class and upper class families to not rear their children to be in a constant dark mood, by easing the degree of mourning that the young needed to display publicly. It was considered emotionally unhealthy to keep the young in a household in black or away from social activities.
Certainly in poor urban families where children worked in factories and on farms it would have been impossible for families to afford any garb apart from that they wore day to day (Hellish, 2010.
Victorian mourning in an average Midwestern farming community would have differed greatly from that that occurred in the middle class or upper class urban home. The showing of the dead would occur in the parlor and not an ornate funeral chapel.
There would be no elaborate parade of black carriages pulled by horses wearing black plumes. A trip for a funeral in the local church and burial in the church graveyard was the norm. Social displays of mourning would be limited to church gatherings or a disruption in business for a merchant in small farm town. Elaborate obituary with flowery Victorian language would appear for the most common citizen in local paper (Rothman, 2005).
When photography became more common and affordable after the civil war, death photography was all the rage with good artist being able to make the deceased appeared lifelike. Decomposition occurred quickly as most people did not have bodies embalmed until after the turn of the century. The deceased may also have looked grotesques after an accident or long illness, but Victorian photographers were not above painting on eyes or adding color to the picture of the dearly departed. Even the poorest families found the money to take pictures of children who passed because many times there were no pictures of the child in life. These pictures are still strangely endearing today (Levins, 2005)
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Lastly, superstitions may have played a role at side of the deceased in the most common Victorian home. Bodies were carried out feet first to keep the deceased spirit from looking back and taking another family member with them. Mirrors were covered with black crepe and pictures placed face down to keep the deceased from entering the reflection of the living or to keep their spirit from wanting to stay in the home among loved ones (Hellish, 2010)
In Victorian times courtship was a very different affair for each young person based on social class. Upper middle class and wealthier men sought to increase their personal worth by marrying into a family with a least equivalent wealth. This was because upon marriage in the United Kingdom and in America
In Victorian times courtship was a very different affair for each young person based on social class. Upper middle class and wealthier men sought to increase their personal worth by marrying into a family with a least equivalent wealth.
This was because upon marriage in the United Kingdom and in America all of the wealth that women obtained became her husband's property. Any wealth that she would inherit at the time of her parent's death would also be his assets all of the wealth that women obtained became her husband's property. Any wealth that she would inherit at the time of her parent's death would also be his assets.
Young women in the upper strata also wanted to maintain the lifestyle they had grown up in and for which they had been groomed to live.
Women from wealthier homes were groomed during childhood to grow up to be social assets to their husbands. She was expected to be competent in the social graces, dance, sing, and speak French. She was to be refined in conversation about matters of what we would consider 'pop culture 'today. She was expected to be a polite listener, but not outspoken on any matter of any substance.
Learning to work in and out of the elaborate levels of etiquette expected of the dutiful wife was almost a full time job. Girls early on had to learn what was expected of them in social circles in order to make a good marriage. Women in the lower classes were spared this ordeal.
When a girl was seventeen or eighteen she was given a coming out party. This social debut meant that she was ready to start the formalized act of courting. The social season ran from April till early fall. A girl's family would sponsor a party or if she was wealthy enough a ball. The young girl would get a whole new wardrobe for the season and spend it at various parties under the watchful eye of her mother or other married female chaperone. Young girls could only be introduced to certain gentlemen by a mutual friend. The goal was for a girl to fill her dance card with a number of potential suitors and not to narrow her interest too soon to just one.
Gentlemen were expected not to dance with more than one girl three times. They were also considered gentlemanly if the gave charity dances to the less attractive girls. It is doubtful that most girls found a suitable potential husband over the course of one social season so it was really her opportunity to shop around and enjoy the company of her female friends.
As time passed girls could start talking with and taking walks with suitors of interest to them. Most girls moved on to this next level of courtship after careful consultations with their family, because leading someone on were considered social suicide.
In daytime and less formal outings a girl left her calling card. In the case of a younger girl she would leave a card with her mother's name listed first. This would indicate that while starting to court, she was still going to be on the social scene looking over several different suitors.
As a girl's age advanced she could take strolls and attend the theatre and opera with a serious suitor. These encounters were a little less strict as the chaperones were usually another young married couple or a slightly older married cousin or sibling.
When a suitor was serious, both his parents and the potential bride's parent's started negotiations. If a girl was looking to marry up into higher social strata, then a large dowry was an enticement. If boy was looking to marry up he had to accept the fact that the girl's family would protect some of her personal wealth by setting up a trust administer by someone looking out for her affairs solely. Couples of the same financial background did not spend so much time concerned with these affairs.
Still, sometimes suitors were rejected on the basis of having fudged about bank account
or not been truthful about their family's reputation. Most local families would know each other, but a young man trying to make mark in the world by marrying up might for it more suitable to move into social circles in a far away town. It was a women's family duty to make sure that her bow was acceptable on all levels.
Suitors were considered cads if they broke off a potential engagement. Women were not free agents in these affairs and there was little chance that men could be deceived by young girls who had little knowledge or control over their financial affairs. Dowries were pretty much straight forward and they would be acceptable to a suitor or not.
The engagement officially took place when the man asked the girls father for permission to marry his daughter. This was always obtained after the girl had accepted the offer. It was more of a left over in earlier times when all marriages were arranged. Still there were a few couples who married against their parents wishes, losing the financial gains from the bride to the groom.
When an engagement was arranged, the girls' mother would host a dinner party, to officially meet the groom's family. It was after this event took place that the engaged couple could announce their engagement officially to friends and mort distant family. Engagements generally lasted d between six months and two years, depending on the finances that needed to be gathered for a wedding and to set up housekeeping.
The girl was given a ring, sometimes a family heirloom. Grooms could receive engagement rings as well, but it was not required. The type of ring used as an engagement ring varied from simple bands with no stones to rings with multiple colored stones. Many times the rings were engraved. Diamonds became a popular choice for engagement rings at the end of the Victorian era.
Engaged couples enjoyed much more freedom than other couples. They could walk together an acceptable distance apart, attend social gatherings without chaperones, and sit together alone and talk in the parlor. Still at the end of the evening they went their separate ways and did not cause talk by being overtly affectionate.
The working class and lower classes tried to mimic some of the courtship practices of the other classes. Getting enough money to afford to take a wife was a huge burden to many young men. Working class families did not have dowries to offer and many times their daughters worked in factories to give money to their families. Having their daughters married off was not necessarily a financial advantage.
Still churches and young people organizations held dances and the working class youth filled their dance card. With rules much less strict young people were encouraged to visit each other at home and play parlor games or take evening strolls. Group picnics and other social outing were encouraged.
Men were many times older than the bride's they chose because they had to make enough money to support a wife. Still most really lower class men were not expected to support a stay at home wife. They had to have enough money to provide lodgings suitable for a married couple.
Several family members living in one room was a circumstance that many young working girls in cities had to face. The chance to live somewhere less crowded was an enticement to many a working girls to marry.
Romantic love was idealized by the Victorians, and a look at letters and diaries from the time show that despite all the social and economic matters involved in courtship and marriage, most people married for love.
John Humphrey Noyes, (1811-1886) American utopian socialist. He founded the Oneida Community in 1848. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
John Humphrey Noyes was a religious radical who founded the Oneida Community in 1848 in Oneida New, York. It was a utopian community was founded on the religious beliefs of Noyes. He believed that a Christian received the ability to achieve spiritual perfection at the point of conversion. Noyes also propagated the idea the Church had missed the opportune time to establish heaven on earth after Christ had returned in 70 AD.
East Lawn & Portico, by Oneida Community (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
To be true to practices ,that Noyes believed would initiate Christ's millennial kingdom, the Oneida Community practiced communalism .Noyes insisted that sharing property and possessions of all the community members would reflect the practices of the most perfect New Testament Christian communities. Smaller Noyesian communities were also eventually established in Wallingford Connecticut, Newark New Jersey, Putney Vermont, and Cambridge Vermont. Noyes had made the Oneida Community his primary residents when he was almost arrested for his practice of "free love". Noyes believed he and other members were free to copulate with any other female member of the group that consented to have them. Deep emotional attachments and sexual monogamy between men and women in the community were seen as idolatrous and counter to the agape love.
The Christian" family" encompassed the definition of the whole group.
Women in the Oneida Community, over the age of 14, were considered equal to men and they were not restricted to domestic chores. A communal nursery and a belief in birth control; allowed women to be free from the burden of child rearing. Many worked beside the males in the community.
Even the dress of the women reflected this equality. Women wore pants the resembled bloomers under short dresses to be able to more easily engage in what were seen as "male" jobs. Noyes also discourage women from wearing fancy dresses as he taught that it lead to females becoming vain and materialistic. Some women in the community had to be forced to wear the bloomer uniform.
Children raised in the community were generally separated from their mothers when they were one and reared in the community nursery. Parents visited their children, but close bonding was discouraged. Every child was considered to be a child of all the adults in the community. In 1869 the community started a program of selective breeding among its members.
By Oneida Community -- Publisher [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Members who wished to breed were brought before a committee to decide if they were most likely to bring forth "moral "children. There were 53 children born by these unions and nine were believed to be fathered by Noyes himself. It should be noted that the children raised at the community were viewed as exceptionally talented and artistic. Works of art made by many of the older children of the commune can be viewed on exhibit at the Mansion House.
Internal and external pressures brought on by the increasing number of rules instituted by Noyes, and then by Noyes son lead the community to dissolve as a commune in 1879. By the 1881, those who remained in the community broke into more traditional family units and formed the company of Oneida Limited .They focused on silversmith work. The commune had learned to craft silverware as one of its many business ventures to raise funds to remain a self contained community.
In 2005 the company ceased manufacturing silverware and cutlery but still serves as a distributor of silver products imported into this country and sold under the Oneida brand name. The last member of the Oneida community Ella Florence Underwood (1850-1950), died onJune 25,1950inKenwood, New Yorknear her childhood home at Oneida.
The most notable building left from the Oneida community is the large communal home where the majority of the members lived at least part of the time called The Mansion House which is an astounding 93,000 square feet. The home was continuously occupied by at least some of its members from 1862 -1914 and then occupied by residents connected to Oneida Limited up until 1965.
Today it houses 35 apartments, a restaurant, museum, and meeting rooms. It also has 9 rooms for guest who wish to visit over night. The museum part of the Oneida Mansion offers self guided and guided tours for groups. It is open year-round except major holidays. The hours are as follows:
Monday through Saturday 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.
Sunday: 12 to 4 p.m.
English: Oneida Community, Home Building, Oneida, Ny. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Some of the more interesting doctrines of the religious commune at the Oneida were as follows;
Complex Marriage: This was the idea every adult man in the community was married to every adult women. Those who wished could pursue a sexual relationship with a member of the opposite sex as long as both parties consented. Romantic and emotional attachments were strongly discouraged and could result in forced separation by the larger community.
Male Continence" This was the rule that males would not create unwanted pregnancies during intercourse by mastering the ability to not ejaculate during sex.
Ascending Fellowship-This was the practice of older godly members of the group mentoring young male and female virgins into understanding and mastering the groups birth control, sexual, and breeding practices. It was designed to discourage romantic attachments between boys and girls of the same age and was instituted when children reached the age of 14.
Young men were encouraged to engage in sexual activities with post menopausal women until the mastered the ability to control their ejaculation and therefore not risk unplanned pregnancy in younger female members.
Mutual Criticism - Those who broke the policies of the community were brought to be reprimanded for the errors of their ways many times in front of the whole community. All members of the community were subject to this 'mutual criticism" except the top male leaders of the community. It was believed by Noyes that allowing criticism of the leaders of the community would lead to schism.
Ironically, the communal mansion built by the man who did not believe in traditional marriage is now a popular site for weddings and wedding receptions.
The Victorian wedding was a grand affair. It was a chance to show the world how lavish and respectable your family was in society. The Victorian Wedding was a very sentimental affair with every detail and practice symbolic. The flowers, the cutting of the wedding cake, even the ribbon streamers over the bridal table were weighted with symbolism. Marriages during this time were mostly to secure business deals, increase wealth or raise status for the family
The Victorian engagement ring dates from 1832-1900. These engagement rings are set on yellow or rose gold color. The Victorian engagement rings (1835-1900) had very complex designs with many rows of diamonds and pearls often set in yellow or rose gold.
Queen Victoria herself chose an engagement ring that was in the design of a gold snake, coiling around itself; and ancient Roman symbol denoting eternal love. Half hoop rings with different stones set in were extremely popular, together with the cluster style and various other, generally quite delicate designs. Queen Victoria herself chose an engagement ring that was in the design of a gold snake, coiling around itself an ancient Roman symbol denoting eternal love. Half hoop rings with different stones set in were extremely popular, together with the cluster style and various other, generally quite delicate designs.
The Victorian wedding dress was made of different fabrics like tulle, lace, organdy, and gauze, silk, linen, or even cashmere. The veil was mandatory and it was usually made of super-fine gauze, pure cotton, teamed with lace. Veils were attached to a coronet of flowers, usually orange blossoms for the bride and roses or other in-season flowers for the attendants.
The bride's accessories included: short white kid gloves, hanky emb
English: Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, Buckingham Palace, 11 May 1854 (after a Drawing Room) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
roidered with her maiden name initials, silk stockings embroidered up the front, and flat shoes decorated with bows or ribbons at the instep. Veils were attached to a crown or garland of flowers, usually using orange blossoms for the bride and roses or other in-season flowers for the attendants. The bride's outfit would not have been considered correct at all without short white kid gloves, long enough to tuck under the sleeves, with a slit in one finger to slip the ring on without removing the glove
Bridesmaids covered their heads with short white veils. Weddings at home did not require a veil; headpieces of flowers and ribbons were worn. Bridesmaids stood to the left and right of the couple, while ushers help guide the guests. Etiquette dictated that guests address the bride first, unless they were only acquainted with the groom, in which case they congratulated the groom and were then introduced to the bride.
Popular conceptions of the Victorian wedding night and honeymoon frequently turn on assumptions about sexual ignorance and its conversion to sudden, terrible knowledge. One widely circulated story of John Ruskin's ill-fated wedding night, for example, is that he was so unfamiliar with the ordinary adult female body that he was shocked to find his wife not quite as smooth and hairless as the classical statuary in museums.
English: Bride and bridesmaids, 1900-1910 A studio portrait of a bride and three bridesmaids. The bride wears a high necked dress and a veil with headpiece. The bridesmaids wear matching dresses with full sleeves gathered at the top and with ruffles at the hem. Shaefer & Deazley, Austral Studio, Toowoomba. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
