Being Laid To Rest In the Victorian Era

English: Funeral procession 

The funeral cortege of Edward the Confessor, from the Bayeux Tapestry (Photo credit: Wikipedia) The funeral procession has been around for centuries in Westren Culture

Trauerschmuck, Brosche, Glas, 19. Jahrh. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)Example of Victorian Mourning Jewelry

English: Advertisement for Victorian mourning garb. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Victorian Funerals

Victorians were fond of the gothic and melodramatic .Death was common place and unlike most weddings of the time, they were conducted with great pomp and circumstance. If a man was wretchedly poor in life his grandest moment of social participation may have been so in death.

It was common for many lower class families to have put aside funds and for the burial of their offspring as childhood mortality was high during the Victorian era (1837-1901). The quality of life for living children suffered so that a fine funeral could be provided the dead.

The mark of any proper Victorian funeral was the funeral procession. In England the processions were much more of a spectacle than they were in the United States. It was grand procession in both countries with pall bears that sometimes had batons, pages, and men dressed in gowns that carried wands. These professions many times became drunken parades as the men waited long periods of time in the cold and drank gin to stay warm. A wealthy family might suffer great social embarrassment if the procession ended up looking like a circus parade; because their hired mourners drank too much.

The first vehicle in the funeral procession was the hearse drawn by six black horses. In the United Kingdom it was customary for the horses to sport dark colored feathered plumes on their heads. The hearse was gilded with gold and silver, and the coffin could be seen in a glass car. Some hearses sported a canopy of black ostrich feathers. Coffins were highly polished and sported silver handles and plates. If cloth covering were used on the coffin; they were attached with brass nails. Colors that were acceptable for funeral cloths were rich purples or greens. Gone were the simple sheer cotton shrouds that had graced the body of the deceased in earlier times.

The other carriages the followed contained the mourners and celery in order of their relation to the deceased. Men wore dark suits and women wore black gowns made of black crape and full black veils. Fashion dictated female family members of the departed use black gloves and black fans. Only mourners outside of the family wore fine black silk as less ostentatious black dress was expected of family members.

Only black jet jewelry was worn by mourners and by female family members for up to two years while the family was officially in the state of mourning. Society dictated that Victorian widow wear full and deep veils for up to two years and only black kid gloves for up to six months. All black dress was worn by the relations of the deceased for at least three months. Crepe was the fabric of choice for most women in morning. Younger women could get away with wearing half morning clothes of purple after a few months as long as they were not a widow.

Most widows avoided social events for 18 months after the death of their husband. Children generally were in muted colors, but not full morning garb three to six months after the death of a sibling or parent. Widowers only avoided polite society for a year after the death of their wife. It is unlikely rural farm families had the time or money to follow these strict Victorian customs too closely.

Victorian wakes were held at the home of the debased and might include friends and family not present at the funeral. Invitations might invite visitors to view the corpse with the family sitting in mourning in the next room. Notes of condolence were sent to the family within ten days after the funeral. Calling cards of a common social nature were left but not expected to be acknowledged by the grieving family for at least three months.

The wake tended to be a large meal provided by the relatives but not the immediate family of the departed. In poor homes food would be brought in by relatives and neighbors to spare the mourning family the chore of preparing food for the wake. In wealthier homes footman and servants were expected to wear simple mourning garb until their master's family stopped official deep mourning. Those who attended the wake may have been given elaborate cards commemorating the death.

Those invited specifically to a 'private "funeral were given even more elaborate cards they would keep in books or in special holders in their pillars. Death announcements on printed cards of black edged paper were sent to distant friends and relatives or out to the community in general if their paper did not print death notices.

Many times Victorian women made wreaths of the hair of the departed that might be displayed at the wake or funeral. Some were wreaths that were keep as funeral mementos and had the braided hair of several family members that passed. Some locks were worn as a sort of morning jewelry in the form of woven chokers or bracelets.

When photography became less expensive, many times photos were taken of the deceased in the casket or posed as if they were sleeping. Pictures of children and infants were especially cherished and might be even printed on funeral cards if the the family could bear the expense. Poetic verse and scripture appeared with at least drawings of angels and other religious symbols on most furneral cards.

When the casket was laid to rest in the cemetery it was thought to be too of a traumatic event to be witnessed by the if witnessed by the female members of the family or children  of the newly departed. Only older male members of the family stayed to watch the casket are laid to rest in the ground. 

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Death In The American Victorian Household Part 2

It was common for middle class Victorian men to be displayed in the black suits which they wore for Church or special occasions. It would not be uncommon for a deceased middle class housewife to be displayed in the morning clothes of widows weed and crepe that she wore in life to mourn the passing of her relations. Younger women tended to be displayed in white. It was acceptable to bury children in the best clothes they had and with flowers in their hands.






Funeral Flowers In Parlor: Public Domain










Victorian church women many times urged the wealthier to donate funeral coats to poor families burying children as not to deprive a living child of a needed coat. It seems strange to us a new coat would be given to a living child while a living child was given the coat of a dead child. This did not seem strange to a poor Victorian mother, because she expected to lose at least one child and it was expected she honor the dead child or be accused of being heartless. Many poor families saved for the funeral expenses of their children, at the expense of the quality of life all the household.

Very poor grieving women who had lost a child or provider had to suffer the additional indignity of begging among her neighbors, relatives, and church for the funds to provide a modest funeral for her loved one. Certainly, even the poorest head on household was seen as a poor father and husband if he had not prepared for death that would inevitably visit his household. Trade organizations, ethnic groups, and discreet church funds saved many a poor or working class family from the public humiliation of having to beg for funds to take care of their dead (Hellish, 2010).




Wakes were held in Victorian homes in order to make sure that the deceased was truly dead and would not 'wake' from coma. A relative was posted at the side of the casket. Wakes as social events could last up to four days and the family was relieved of doing the chores of daily life and the preparation of food by friends and neighbors. All blood relations and those related by marriage were expected to show their respect by wearing various degrees of mourning garb.




In general the more closely related a person was who had passed the greater degree of public mourning was expected. Women were in general expected to mourn longer and go to greater means to dress the part. Generally, Aunts, uncles and cousins were expected to wear a degree of mourning garb publically for at least. Relations in other towns that could not attend the funeral were also expected to make a public display of mourning (Levins, 2005)

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Funeral Photography: The girl is deceased in this photo

A widower was expected to remove himself from public life for a matter on months and in general could get away with wearing mourning armbands. The garb of the middle class husband was normally black anyway and his need to conduct business made his seclusion was public life impractical (Hellish, 2010).

Men were expected to mourn the passing of their wives for at least a year. If the need to have a household kept or presence of small children made his quick remarriage a necessity, the new wife was expected to show deep mourning for the deceased wife for the first at least a year. The reentrance of the family as a whole into social circles was kept for nearly two years an an elaborate system of leaving calling cards was instituted to make sure the surviving household members did not appear frivolous (Hellish, 2010.




Things like attending the theater, parties other than weddings and baptism, and gardening clubs were off limits to all adult household members for a year. Older widows and widower may have been excused from social niceties till the time of their death. Many older women simply never shed the last of the mourning garb, but it is unlikely any kept 'full 'morning garb. Many doctors urged melodramatic Victorian widows to put aside long periods of morning garb where they wore crepe or long veils as it was believed it caused respiratory and vision problems. Very wealthy families decked out their servants in mourning wear they were expected to wear as long as the family 'socially' mourning (Rothman, 2005)

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There were various practices for mourning periods for children. Mothers were expected to show public displays of mourning for the loss of a child for at least a year. Fathers tended to observe the mourning period according to religious or community practice. Even middle class families were hard pressed to come up expensive clothing and mourning adornments for the loss of a child. It was very common for household to lose many children and to have births in households, that Widow's weeds, veils of crepe, and other elaborate accessories were not practical. Many a resourceful housewife would simply dye the family's wardrobe in black; unfortunately, this black dye often came off on the skin of the mourner (Levins, 2005)

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Experts in child rearing at the time urged middle class and upper class families to not rear their children to be in a constant dark mood, by easing the degree of mourning that the young needed to display publicly. It was considered emotionally unhealthy to keep the young in a household in black or away from social activities.




Certainly in poor urban families where children worked in factories and on farms it would have been impossible for families to afford any garb apart from that they wore day to day (Hellish, 2010.

Victorian mourning in an average Midwestern farming community would have differed greatly from that that occurred in the middle class or upper class urban home. The showing of the dead would occur in the parlor and not an ornate funeral chapel.




There would be no elaborate parade of black carriages pulled by horses wearing black plumes. A trip for a funeral in the local church and burial in the church graveyard was the norm. Social displays of mourning would be limited to church gatherings or a disruption in business for a merchant in small farm town. Elaborate obituary with flowery Victorian language would appear for the most common citizen in local paper (Rothman, 2005).

When photography became more common and affordable after the civil war, death photography was all the rage with good artist being able to make the deceased appeared lifelike. Decomposition occurred quickly as most people did not have bodies embalmed until after the turn of the century. The deceased may also have looked grotesques after an accident or long illness, but Victorian photographers were not above painting on eyes or adding color to the picture of the dearly departed. Even the poorest families found the money to take pictures of children who passed because many times there were no pictures of the child in life. These pictures are still strangely endearing today (Levins, 2005)

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Lastly, superstitions may have played a role at side of the deceased in the most common Victorian home. Bodies were carried out feet first to keep the deceased spirit from looking back and taking another family member with them. Mirrors were covered with black crepe and pictures placed face down to keep the deceased from entering the reflection of the living or to keep their spirit from wanting to stay in the home among loved ones (Hellish, 2010)

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